This post is part two of examining Chapter 3: To Inspire Mighty Men! of Bill Gothard’s book, 7 Basic Needs of a Wife.
The Creation Design of a Wife
It is important to realize why God did not create man and woman on the same day. Adam needed time to develop three important areas in his life before he was ready for a wife.
Pg.22
Really? Where do you find this in Scripture? You may say there are important areas for a man nowadays to make him ready for a wife, but you can’t just add anachronistic ideas into Scripture.
This is also true today. If a man does not have these there priorities in place, his wife will be frustrated as she tries to be a “help meet” to him. As a help meet, it is a wife’s goal to motivate and assist her husband to expand these three areas:
Pg.23
Of course Gothard then begins to cite these three arbitrary areas that he, a never-married man, has come up with.
1. A Daily Walk With God.
God walked with Adam in the cool of the day. They talked together and enjoyed the fellowship that God intended when He created Adam. This fellowship is vital for every husband to maintain after marriage, and every wife must use all her influence and persuasiveness to motivate her husband to spend meaningful time with the Lord. …
In the days of Israel every father and son were to have three retreats a year with the Lord. This would be a good practice to follow today!
pg.23
Well, someone will have to help me find in the Bible where it tells about these 3-day father/son retreats.
Practical resources for a three-day time of prayer and fasting include these: a study Bible (Zodhiates Key Study Bible), a hymn book, biographies of great Christian, and a notebook in which to record Biblical insights and directions.
Pg.23
So what does a wife do when a husband takes a 3-day episode of prayer and fasting? And why cannot a husband just take time each day for prayer and Bible study? Where in the Bible does it mandate fasting for Christians (not that one can’t fast but Gothard is mandating it)? And can’t one chose a different study Bible to read? Why cannot a husband just study the Bible instead of a hymn book (which usually tends to have some wrong theology here and there) and biographies of Christians?!? Does one really NEED a notebook? E.g., I’ve highlighted biblical passage which I find insightful. So is it the wife’s responsibility to MAKE her husband use these materials on a 3-day shut-in from the world?
2. Adequate Financial Resources.
God provided everything that Adam needed for his daily food and financial ventures. This included a wide variety of fruit and vegetables, as well as huge deposits of quality gold and precious stones. (See Genesis 2:9-12.)
pg.23
Okay, just what financial “needs” could Adam possibly have had as the only man on earth!?!?! “Gold and precious stones” would have no financial meaning to Adam.
A husband’s tendency is to love money and develop greed. This is a constant threat to marriage. God often supernaturally gives to a wife cautions about her husband’s business ventures, even though her husband may not discern those same cautions. The help of a wife in this important area must begin before marriage. She must require him to have a responsible job and to exercise wisdom and restraint with his use of time and his purchase of items.
pg.24
So that is what Gothard thinks of men, that we have a tendency to love money and develop greed?!?! I’ve met very few of that sort in my lifetime, but I’ve also seen marriages where the wife tends to love money and is greedy. It doesn’t matter whether it is husband or wife, both are sinners and both can have the same tendency. I’ve seen no evidence from research that supports Gothard’s claim about husbands. And where does he get the idea that God supernaturally gives that gift to women?!? Common sense does say, however, that a woman should not marry a man who doesn’t have a responsible job.
Women tend to be more particular in evaluating the character of people—especially those who have wrong motives. Men, especially second-born men, tend to believe whatever they are told and trust people who have wrong motives.
Pg. 24 sidebar.
Gothard just made this up out of no research, just his own opinion which isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on. I’m a second-born man and I sure don’t believe what he says! This statement is absolute nonsense.
Stay tuned for part three of examining this chapter!
